I'm laying in your front yard are you home
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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