haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
