It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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