I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
