i just had sex bonerless
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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