My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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