he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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