Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I looked at my own cervix.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize