Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
