You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
