no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
