Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
