Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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