My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
