I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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