well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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