god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I love you.
Bad choice
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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