addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
