I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
