somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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