Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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