so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
