Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
