garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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