Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
