# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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