CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
