the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
