You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
