Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize