Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
