Im at strip club and am horny
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
