no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
