I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We need to rekindle our bromance
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize