OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
