I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
