I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
