so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
