I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
