Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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