He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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