yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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