Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
