i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
