Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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