Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
