Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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