I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
