Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
