So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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