PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
