So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
