We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
