Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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