well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
