found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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