And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
