After last night, I could never be a politician.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
