And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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