I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
