stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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