I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
