Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
