she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
