I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
