Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
